Things are hectic and crazy. Don't we always say that? There's so many projects to tackle, people to see, errands to run, chores to complete. It feels like life just never slows down. As soon as you catch a breath from the hurdle you just jumped over, the next one is staring you right in the face.
I truly wish it wasn't this way. I know it's partially the society we live in and partially my personality. It is difficult to just slow down, take a deep breath, and truly enjoy the present stage you're in. It's something I've been working on and I will say it has gotten easier since having Jude. I see how fast he is changing and I don't want to look back on any part of his life and think I may have missed something because I was too busy jumping over the hurdles.
Life lately has been good. I'm full-time in the real estate gig, which I have been loving. Jude is still in full-time daycare and my ultimate goal is to find a balance between work and motherhood where I am able to be present in a way that I feel fulfilled in both of my roles. I am hoping to get there in the next month or two.
Easter came and went, and if it wasn't for it being a pretty important moment in history and in my faith, it would have felt like a normal day. My family was out of town and Danny's are 3,000 miles away, so it was just us three. Jude enjoyed an early morning easter egg hunt and was ecstatic to find new snacks in his eggs (goldfish!).
To be honest, Easter was somewhat overshadowed by Jude's first birthday that was the following day. This has been a milestone that I have been anxiously awaiting for yet dreading at the same time. It just brought back all of the memories of labor, an unplanned c-section, the scary feelings of being a new mother, the struggle with breastfeeding, and major mom guilt thinking, 'did I do enough?' Within those exact same moments, I see a healthy boy, who is genuinely always happy. He is learning new things everyday and blows us away by how quick he learns, and all of those guilt feelings slowly slip into a moment of pride. Crazy how motherhood does this, huh?
Because Jude's birthday party isn't for another two weeks, we decided to celebrate low-key. We took him to the Aquarium, an indoor play area, and lunch with his cousins and Aunt. He got a celebratory pancake breakfast, a new teepee from his Aunts & Uncles, and some small toys from us. We enjoyed the slow day and really soaked in these moments of ONE.